Alice In Chains - Great, and Certainly not Late

Alice In Chains, 10/29, Armory Center, Albany, NY

I decided to catch this show with my brother. He'd been listening to my AIC records almost as much as I had over the past 15 years. Their second album, Dirt, was the first compact disc I ever owned. I have their 4 full-length albums, the EP (Sap), the Unplugged album, the live album, the box set, and about 56 lost dates that happened as my teenage self tried to convince girls how cool they were (somehow it got lost in translation, probably on account of acne, but we'll never know for sure).

This is also the band that I had played for 2 straight hours on my college radio station back in 2002, when the news broke that their lead singer, Layne Staley, had passed away. So when I heard that they were touring again on the West coast, I got pretty excited. When I heard they were coming to Albany, I lost it. It's 3 of the originals, Jerry Cantrell, Sean Kinney and Mike Inez, with a new vocalist.

So what was the set going to be like? Acoustic? Electric? Were they going to play a bunch of stuff from their last studio record (which I didn't like that much)? So many questions. I was particularly looking forward to hearing some tracks off Facelift (their first album, which I still own on cassette).

I was also naturally skeptical of the new lead singer, William Duvall, as I'm sure any fan would be. I've never seen the band live before, and although I'm fairly certain Jerry Cantrell (guitarist / vocals) is some kind of genius, I'm wondering how this new guy's going to cut it.

Visually, he's not a Staley look-alike (he's black, for one). He dresses in a tight leather jacket with tight-fitting red pants, some whispy facial hair and a fluffy afro on top. Also, no sunglasses. They came out to some technical difficulties while Whale & Wasp was playing in the background as they launched into Again. After about 20 seconds this was fixed, and nobody was the wiser for it. Great, I thought to myself, they're playing off the last record, and they only sound mediocre. Ugh.

I was soon to be proven wrong though. They launched into Bleed the Freak, nicely done, followed by Grind (a Cantrell-heavy song). I'm wondering at this point whether they're trying to hide the new singer for some reason. Can he really hack it up there? What did Cantrell do?

Then the fun really started. Another Facelift track, It Ain't Like That, followed by Junkhead. And if you know AIC, you know Junkhead was not only Staley's cry for help, but one of the more public and celebrated heroin admissions ever recorded. And Duvall nails it. Just nails it. And to make it even better, the crowd is behind him 100% after every line. I realize, at this point, that this is going to be a great fucking show. Duvall is not only pulling off Staley's lines, he's also alternating between rhythm and lead guitar-- where did Cantrell find this guy?

We're followed by a slow one, Nutshell, and then we get 3 tracks off Dirt. The crowd is into it, I'm into it, the band is into it. It's a great show-- and then they throw you a curve. They break for a video montage of Layne as the roadies reconfigure the stage. After a few minutes, the band comes out with a stripped down set, a few intimate mood lights, and acoustic guitars. Don't Follow is first (no harmonica, unfortunately), mixed with No Excuses, Killer Is Me, Got Me Wrong and a few others, capped off with Down In A Hole. The band has the crowd in a trance at this point, there is no way they can do any wrong. This is like having two Christmases.

Finally, another video montage brings us to the final run of the evening, another full electric set that includes Sludge Factory, We Die Young and concludes with, yep, Man In the Box, which may have been Duvall's best performance of the evening. I've never heard an encore cheer so loud in my life. The band comes out to play Rooster and Would, and after 2 hours, they're finally done. Cantrell comes out to shake hands with some fans in the front rows, and the entire place is still going nuts.

So was the band worth seeing? Hell yeah. Did the new lead guy impress? Absolutely. And will I now start digging out my flannel shirts and faded jeans from Mom's basement? Well... let's wait on that one.

Colorful Commentary

In a late-breaking news story earlier today, it was reported that the FOX broadcasting company decided to fire Steve Lyons, one of its MLB playoff commentators, over some supposedly racially-charged remarks against hispanics. Now, I have no problem with this move, but I believe it should have been on different grounds. And far sooner.

Steve Lyons should have been fired because he sucks as a commentator. This, actually, should have been done a long time ago. If you read the news articles about the story, you'll notice his remarks aren't really that bad in the sense that they're racist, they're just annoying in the fact that he's a moron. He's not a moron because he says these things, it's that he says these things because he's a moron. Get the difference?

FOX has a pretty interesting history with its painfully vanilla baseball coverage. They try to showcase their 'dynamic duo' of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver as often as possible, to the extent that those two are the only voices you'll hear announcing the World Series (with the occasional studio guest that either includes A) Former or vacationing players that don't get enough air time (e.g. Al Leiter) B) former or vacationing players that aren't at all interesting (e.g. Lou Piniella) or C) Celebrities promoting their upcoming FOX shows or movies).

Buck is about as interesting as an entymologist at a dental convention (not to mention the personality of a Filene's mannequin), and McCarver seems to like to point out aspects of baseball that only Khazakstani hermits would find educational ("he really needs to throw more strikes if he wants to stop walking people" or "the game's all about getting hits"). Frankly, Bert & Ernie would attract a larger audience, and would at least keep it interesting with some witty banter about cookies in bed.

I hate FOX baseball even more than I hate FOX football (and let's face it, that's pretty bad, especially considering the NFL graphics are shown to you by members of the autobots). What they need to do, in my humble opinion, is go one of two ways.

1. Hire an old radio play-by-play guy to do the entire game. No color commentary, no nothing. Just an old-school play-by-play guy to bring you the action. It's the World Series for crying out loud, if the games aren't enough to keep you interested, a 5th inning commentary from Tim Robbins isn't going to either.

2. Have two knowledgable guys in the booth-- one who will make poignant observations, and one who has the wherewithall to explain those observations to the audience. And by poignant, I don't mean picking out obscure statistics ("Jones has performed well in these situations this year, he's hitting .386 with a runner on 2nd and a 2-2 count in the 4th inning when trailing by at least 3 runs"). Real fans know those stats are BS, and newcomer fans have no idea what they mean.
By poignant I'm talking about pointing out baserunning mistakes, fielder's position, tipping pitches, etc. Things that fans should know, things that announcers in the booth need to point out because most of the people in the audience wouldn't already be thinking them. In other words, if I have to roll my eyes one more fucking time at McCarver's ramblings, I'm ripping out the speakers in my TV.

I hate those guys.

You know, OLN (the random cable sports network that features the NHL, along with professional lumberjacking) does sports coverage better than FOX. Most regional sports networks have better sports coverage than FOX. Why is this backwards?

Where was I going with this?

Oh, right. The Steve Lyons thing.

Bottom line is that FOX shouldn't have had to fire Steve Lyons for being borderline offensive (no pun intended). It never should have been said-- not only because it was dumb, but because dumb people shouldn't be heard on sports telecasts. You shouldn't have to wait around for a guy like that to screw up, you have to avoid screwing up by not hiring him in the first place.

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