World Series Worlds Collide
If you've been following baseball, little has been made of two particular off-season moves in the midst of a winter of spending. But if you keep a close eye on Arlington, Texas this season, we could be seeing a metaphysical phenomenon, the level of which only Steven Hawking can fathom. I'll explain.
See, Texas GM Jon Daniels made a smart move by hiring all-around nice guy Ron Washington to manage the Rangers this year. Washington had been well respected as a coach in Oakland, and is expected by many to lead the Rangers out from under a string of underwhelmingly mediocre seasons.
Not completely lost in this transaction was manager emeritus Buck Showalter, a micro-managing but effective skipper who had spent time in New York and Arizona. You might remember Showalter as the manager who left the Yankees the year before their World Series victory in '96, only to turn around and duplicate the same exact feat in Arizona in 2000.
To a casual observer, you might take this information and pencil Texas in to win it all this year. You'd be right to do so-- throw superstition and coincidence out the window, this is baseball we're talking about.
But not so fast. One of the lesser-publicized moves that Jon Daniels made was acquiring journeyman outfielder Kenny Lofton-- now playing for his 9th team since 2001 (yes, you read that right). Lofton was the speedy centerfielder in Cleveland who reminded many Indians fans of Willie Mays Hayes in Major League, and since then has been bouncing around the league like Anna Nicole Smith at an AARP convention (what? too soon?). But what people should remember him best for was his career in the postseason. Thanks to baseball-reference.com, we can take a closer look.
Lofton has made the playoffs with no less than 6 different teams in 10 different trips there over a 15 year career (1995, 96, 98, 99, 2001 with Cleveland, 97 with Atlanta, 2002 with SF, 2003 with the Cubs, 2004 with the Yankees, and 2006 with the Dodgers). To the astute fan, a trend becomes recognizable with all of those teams-- none of them actually won the World Series.
Lofton's numbers in the postseason reflect that as well. His career batting average in the playoffs is 54 points less than in the regular season, while his on base percentage dips by 58 (down to .244 and .314, respectively-- and as a leadoff hitter, mind you).
It seems Lofton's money shot comes in September, so when October rolls around, if you don't mind me extending this analogy, he's all out of juice.
It's somewhat unfortunate, as Lofton seems to be generally well-liked by teammates and managers. But you have to start wondering, when you're mired in an 0-10 streak, exactly what's going wrong? You can put him up there with like-tortured athletes such as Ted Williams, Charles Barkley, Dan Marino, Peyton Ma-- oops, right. But you get the idea.
So what can Texas fans expect this year, Showalter's exit curse or Lofton's Limpness? Is Jon Daniels going to be the unwitting catalyst for the largest astrological catastrophe since the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs?
Which curse has more power, more gravity? Will somebody explode? Will it be like two black holes colliding, exhibiting some cosmic phenomenon on a grand scale? Will far-off civilizations in other galaxies be watching the aftermath light years away? And it doesn't even end there. This is only one season. It can't end there. What happens if Kenny Lofton ever becomes a manager and follows Buck Showalter? Or if Kenny actually does win the World Series, does he cease to exist? Trippy, huh?
See, these are the things that have been keeping me up at night, pacing around the apartment like an expectant father. So, I guess to wrap all this up, let's just say I'm excited about the season. It's the one story I'm going to be following more closely than any other-- forget about A-Rod, forget about Bonds, forget about Gary Matthews Jr (oh, you did already?). This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and there isn't a fan on this earth who should miss it.
Good luck and Godspeed, Jon Daniels.
posted by BJC @ 9:09 AM
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