A Day at the Ballpark

I found myself in the Bronx today, slightly north of Manhattan, although I'll give you that it was planned.

Yes, today was a day to spend indulging in our country's favorite pastime. Er, well, baseball. Coincidentally enough, this happened last Saturday as well. See, being in Albany, NY makes me just a quick trip down Interstate 87 to the city (about 150 miles, if you're counting). There, I can experience all the riches it has to offer, as well as many of the poors.

To make a long story short, I caught a Mets-Dodgers game at Shea Stadium last Saturday, and the first game of a Yankees-Red Sox doubleheader at Yankee Stadium a week later. The following unassorted ramblings are what emerged from those experiences.

(Author's aside: And let me just clear up something for the audience at this point, since apparently liking both the Mets and Yankees is the sports equivalent of gay incest [and let's see the google search hits I get out of that phrase], as other New York sports fans will tell you. I grew up and am currently a Yanks fan. Period. My brother-in-law is a huge Dodgers fan, hence the Mets trip. Although, when I think about it, I don't root against the Mets [except in the 2000 World Series]... and you could say I generally enjoy when they're doing well... but then I rarely follow the National League, so I really don't care what people think at this point... I think I'm done with this argument)

* First off, most of this is going to focus on the Yankees leg of this trip, since I'm not as big of a Mets fan (see above) and Shea is kind of a dump.

And when I say 'kind of a dump,' I mean the area behind the outfield fence looks like a construction site (although I should point out here that the area beyond that is a construction site). The nicer stadiums will have fountains or grass back there (KC and Anaheim come to mind), or in many cases have bleachers for seating (Wrigley, Arlington), but Shea has a bunch of pavement, assorted scaffolding, and a shoddy-looking homerun apple (that comes out of a top hat each time a home run is hit, making it one of the more obnoxious tangible metaphors in all of sports). Seating is nice, concession area fine, but to have all that out there in plain view of most of the crowd is bush league.

* Do you think Johnny Damon would be less controversial if he were called John? John Damon just doesn't have the same ring to it (and, as a public service, I will explain here that his given name is Johnny-- it's not a nickname). I don't know why I think that is pertinent in any way (or interesting or amusing, for that matter), I just felt the need to share.

* Somebody a few rows ahead of me loudly called David Ortiz "Donkey Kong" during his first at-bat. It got a mild laugh from the crowd initially (I mean, Ortiz chucking barrels is a pretty amusing thought), until everybody slowly realized that it was probably a racial epithet... at which point things became quiet for a few moments. Pretty awkward.
Pretty awkward.

* To truly appreciate Yankees and Red Sox fans, you really need to be present during one of their head-to-head matchups. It's really at a point where the fans scream louder and louder not to cheer on their own team, but to rampantly annoy the fans from the other team. It's gone beyond the players. It's personal.

(And, if I may point out, none of the cheering was creative in any sense. Not that this should be surprising. Mostly, save for the aforementioned ethnic slur, it consisted of "Yankees suck" or "Red Sox suck," the only real difference being the accent in which it was yelled)

* I have a problem, not limited to baseball events but really any sporting event, of people not wearing the right jerseys to the game. I'm not talking about wearing an away jersey to a home game or anything like that, but.. well, let's give my example here. In Yankee stadium yesterday, a gentleman was wearing a Julius Peppers jersey. Which would have been fine with me... except for the fact that Mr Peppers is employed by the Carolina Panthers of the NFL. So at a NY-Boston baseball game, you're reprezentin' Raleigh. In football.
Keepin it real.

* Speaking of apparel, I've also noticed a growing trend of fitted baseball caps with the stickers still on them (particularly the size sticker on the top of the brim). Seems to be a hip-hop thing, but a palebottom like me wouldn't know much about that (I don't get out much). See, I sit there and try to figure out the logic in that. I obsess about these things I don't understand. Do they compare sizes? Is that it? Is it a dominance thing?

If I see another young male on the street and he's sporting a size 7, but I'm rocking my 7 3/8, do I now get to be cooler? And conversely, if I'm in the presence of a 7 5/8, do I curtsey or something? These are things I need to understand.

* And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, on my way back up I passed a Red Carpet Inn.

Let that sit for a second.

Now do you see where I'm going with this? The sheer potential of sexual puns for guys dating redheaded girls? Why has nobody brought this to my attention sooner? Is it so obvious to the public consciousness that we all just simply missed it in front of our noses? Or am I the only one juvenille enough to make a pubic hair joke about an economy hotel?

I'll let you think about that one. Until next time...

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