Back to the Gridiron

Back from hibernation, at least temporarily. But without further ado, here's Week 2's NFL picks.

Buffalo at Miami (-7)
Apparently, this spread is an indication that football scouts around the corner haven't given up on Daunte Culpepper yet. That's pretty funny, because for a player to get run out of Minnesota of all places, no less than a year after a near-MVP season, it's telling. We'll just leave it at that.
On the other hand, who's throwing for Buffalo these days? Losman still? Jesus Christ.
Game: Miami
Spread: Buffalo

Carolina at Minnesota (+1)
Toughest game to call this week. On the one hand, you have Carolina, a good team last year expected to do big things this year... and they get beat last week by a (supposedly) lousy team. Of course, this same thing happened last year too, and they made the playoffs (after that inspiring week 1 loss to New Orleans).
Minnesota... well... last year they went on a late run with Brad Johnson at QB, but that was against mostly crappy teams and their defense helped out too (not to mention Lady Luck). But then they go out and surprise Washington (another trendy playoff pick this year), in Washington, in front of a Monday Night audience.
I'm overthinking this, aren't I?
Game: Carolina
Spread: Carolina

(Author's aside: Anybody else catch the new trio in the Monday Night booth? Are there any other conclusions other than Tony Kornheiser should be doing color without Joe Theisman? Any doubt that Kornheiser couldn't carry that? Does Theisman add anything to that booth other than another few gallons of carbon dioxide?)

Cleveland at Cincinnatti (-10)
Let's see, so Carson Palmer is back at full strength, and the Browns let a Saints rookie pile up 120 yards of offense in week 1. What exactly is the question again?
Game: Cincy
Spread: Cincy

Detroit at Chicago (-7)
Detroit's defense only let up 3 measly field goals to the Superbowl runner-up in week 1. That's surprising (more on that later). Chicago's D shut out an (incredibly aged) Brett Farvruh. The edge goes to Chicago, obviously, but you have to wonder.
Well, not for very long... but still.
Game: Chicago
Spread: Chicago

Houston at Indy (-13.5)
I'd just like to take this time to congratulate Houston's front office. Now, I know this subject has been beaten to death since April, but come on. I'll give you that they also had incredibly bad luck. But come on. You pass on the next Marshall Faulk (let's not go overboard yet on Bush) to draft a defensive lineman. Really? And then, to make matters worse, your "star" tailback gets injured... but instead of giving up some actual talent for an NFL running back, you go out and get Ron Dayne and Samkon Gado. Wow. Now that is building for the future.
Game: Indy
Spread: Indy

New Orleans at Green Bay (+2.5)
Nice win for New Orleans last week against Cleveland. Green Bay, well, wow. Just wow. Can't quite find the words for that one.
And yet, Brett Farvrvruh's last season, home game, playing a bad road team... they can't lose, right? That can't happen. It's not supposed to happen.
Game: Green Bay
Spread: Green Bay

New York Giants at Philly (-3)
I was a little surprised at this spread (essentially means the teams are dead even except for home field advantage), given that the Giants hung tough against Indy. They've improved their defense while Philly has remained somewhat stagnant on offense.
Game: Giants
Spread: Giants

Oakland at Baltimore (-12)
Spread seemed high here too. I wouldn't go getting all hard for Baltimore yet, McNair's bound to break down (over/under is week 6), and their defense can't be that much better (over/under on Ray Lewis' injury is week 9). But then, their defense pitched a shut out last week. Meanwhile, Oakland's impotent attack was shut out. Almost looks like the makings of a huge upset. Almost.
Game: Baltimore
Spread: Baltimore

Tampa Bay at Atlanta (-5.5)
Woooo! Go Chris Simms! Wooooo!
Game: Atlanta
Spread: Atlanta

Arizona at Seattle (-7)
Are we done yet? How many teams are playing this week? Did we expand again? Geez.
OK, right. Arizona is another trendy playoff pick this year, but I wouldn't bet on the defending NFC champions at home. Just, call it a hunch.
Always call Kurt Warner a hunch.
I don't even know what that means.
Either way, Seattle should be taken to task for only putting up 3 field goals against Detroit's defense. We're talking about Detroit here. They've got one of the worst General Managers of all time! For God's sake, he could actually get advice from Dan Duquette and Isiah Thomas. The guy makes Vince Young look like Ken Jennings!
And you just went to the Super Bowl!!
Ugh.
Game: Seattle
Spread: Seattle

St Louis at San Francisco (+3)
Would be an impressive feat if the Rams really beat up on San Francisco here. They might have an impressive team this year, what with Marc Bulger healthy again and Steven Jackson not going anywhere (not to mention Torry Holt).
Then, Antonio Bryant looked good at wideout for the Niners last week, and Vernon Davis was also a pleasant surprise (although I'm still pissed at him for getting drafted one pick before me in my fantasy league this year... I'm sure it's his fault somehow). I just don't think Alex Smith is ready yet-- although he has his moments.
Whatever.
Game: St Louis
Spread: St Louis

KC at Denver (-11)
Pretty sucky loss for Denver last week. I doubt they'll have trouble bouncing back at home against a depleted KC offense (and let's just wait and see what effect Trent Green's head injury will do to Larry Johnson's "Second Coming of Christ" fantasy season).
Game: Denver
Spread: Denver

New England at New York Jets (+6)
You know what, screw it, I'm going for it. I'm taking the Jets as the upset game this week.
Game: NYJ
Spread: NYJ

Tennessee at San Diego (-12)
Yep... so we got Kerry Collins against a defense coming off a week in which it shut out an offense that includes Randy Moss. Yep... that's what we got.
Game: San Diego
Spread: San Diego


Washington at Dallas (-6)
I swore I wasn't going to fall into the "Redskins are good" trap this year. But then 20 bucks later after a loss to the Vikings, I knew I had done it again. WHY??? WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS?!?!??
Game: Dallas
Spread: Dallas

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville (+2)
Yeah, so apparently Pittsburgh could've won with any quarterback last year. I mean, if Charlie Batch can lead them to victory... you can literally stick any quarterback there. Anybody call Ryan Leaf for this?
Game: Pittsburgh
Spread: Pittsburgh

NERD CORNER
Decided to start a new feature this year, dealing with Fantasy sports. The rumor mill is telling me that it's becoming quite popular with the children.
OK, fine, you got me. I've been obsessed for years. Happy now?
Up the slope:
Heath Miller (TE PIT). Expect bigger things with Randle-El out of the picture. They lose some creativity (losing the Harlem Globetrotter of the NFL will do that) but they'll make up for it with their TE.

Down the slope:
Frank Gore (RB SF). Don't expect 160 total yards and 2 scores every week (duh). His week 1 stats were more likely a factor more of the fact that the defense had Cardinals jerseys on. Don't drop him, just don't get the tattoo yet.

Over the hill:
Darrell Jackson (WR SEA). I know, another 'duh' with the signing of Branch. But people really need to know to drop him, now that he has 3 other NFL starters to compete with for catches... on a team that features Shawn Alexander at tailback (which was an odd signing, especially for a team that needed another receiver like Baywatch needed another boob job).

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