Weekend Recap
Textbook guy's night at my buddy Smitty's house this weekend: beer, pizza, wings, Ultimate Fighting Championship on pay-per-view, and a lot of poker. There was only one girl at the party, and she was pulling the "look how good of a girlfriend I could be" routine (she's just starting to date one of the party's attendees) by getting us beer all night and cleaning up after us too. Degrading to her? Yes. Completely worth it? Of course.
In hindsight, the only thing we were missing at the party was cigars.
The best part of the night had to be (in my humble opinion) when I pulled a third 4 on the river card of our texas hold 'em game (I had 2 in hand) to beat the grinning asshole across from me, who was sitting on a pair of aces. More rewarding than the money I won was the expression on the guy's face when the final card was flipped. It went from "This one's all locked up" smugness to "I just turned on the lights and realized it was my sister" horror. Priceless.
Surprising to hear, this was the first time I had ever watched the UFC. Here's a quick rundown, if you've never seen it: extremely entertaining in 10 minute intervals, as two evenly sized guys (most are pretty average looking) kick the living crap out of each other in a manner that is illegal in all 50 states. Two things really make this sport fun: A) The fact that there are rules... but at the same time, it feels lawless. B) The fact that you could accidentally pick a fight with one of these guys in a bar, only to wake up from a coma in some hospital four years later without the use of your arms or legs. I mean, when you see the moves that a 5'10'', 170 lb guy can pull, it makes you think twice about picking on the I-CON crowd (OK, maybe that's a stretch, but you get the point).
Another great exchange between me and the girlfriend this Friday, as we were at the mall (I know, I know, I hate the mall too. Don't judge me):
her: I need some hand lotion, my skin is dry.
me: Well there's a [insert generic mall store that probably has hand lotion] right over there, and it's probably cheap. You want to go in?
her: No, I don't mean I want to buy hand lotion, I need to use hand lotion... you know, like a tester [bottle].
me: (blank stare)
her: Oh look, a Bath & Body Works!
Sorry fellas, she's taken.
posted by BJC @ 9:57 AM
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