It's Housewife Hell Week - NFL Picks Week 12
Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Sunday again. No more than two full days between football games. How many ways can you spell domestic neglect?
Anyway, we've come to a critical juncture in the season. Not so much that the playoff hopes of some teams have faded into fantasy, but the time of year where every sports writer in America has managed to overkill the Vikings' "Love Boat" thing. I mean, come on, give it a rest. Every column, every reference, we get it already!! Let's not beat a dead horse here, folks. At least make an attempt at originality.
That being said, let's move straight on to the picks.
Thanksgiving Day Games
ATLANTA at Detroit (+3)
The reason the Lions are only giving three points here is twofold. First, the Falcons have played two really crappy games in a row where their defense has apparently been siphoning schemes from the Houston Texans' playbook. Second, the Lions haven't named a starting quarterback yet, which means there's a chance that Joey Harrington won't be playing-- which would be good.
Either way, it's important to remember that the Lions suck.
S-U: Atlanta
Spread: Atlanta
Final: ATL 27 DET 7. But did you see the TD catch Roy Williams had? Nice.
DENVER at Dallas (+2.5)
It's only a few steps from crazy to think that the Cowboys would lose at home on Thanksgiving. But then, it's about the same sanity level to think that the Broncos would lose at all these days, what with Jake Plummer's miraculous transmogrification into Tom Brady.
This should be a very close game.
And has anybody noticed the prevailing rodeo theme here? Is it just me?
S-U: Denver
Spread: Denlas. Ok fine, Dalver. Broncboys? Cowcos? Screw it I'll take Denver.
Final: DEN 24 DAL 21 OT. After all those 1 point spread losses, it's about time I got a half-point win.
Sunday Games
Baltimore at CINCINATTI (-9)
The Bengals should be looking to make a statement after the loss to Indy last week. That statement is "We're definitely in the top of the second tier of good football teams."
S-U: Cincy
Spread: Cincy
Final: BAL 29 CIN 42
CAROLINA at Buffalo (+4)
Two weeks ago, Buffalo beats KC and Carolina takes out the Jets. Last week, both teams get killed. The difference? Right, home field advantage. I'm tempted to pick the Bills here. I won't, but I'm tempted.
S-U: Carolina
Spread: Buffalo
Final: CAR 13 BUF 9. This is why I like half-point spreads. You can't tie. I hate ties.
Chicago at TAMPA BAY (-3)
I think this means that people are taking Tampa seriously again. Doesn't that indicate it's time for another fall?
S-U: Bears
Spread: Bears
Final: CHI 13 TB 10
Cleveland at MINNESOTA (-4)
I hate the fucking Vikings.
S-U: Minnesota
Spread: Minnesota
Final: CLE 12 MIN 24
New England at KANSAS CITY (-3)
Can you really count out the Patriots when you're getting close to playoff time? This game seems like a trap to me. I feel like Belichick has been secretly formulating plays for games like this in an underground bunker impervious to nuclear attacks. NORAD is like an amusement park compared to this guy.
S-U: Pats
Spread: Pats
Final: NE 16 KC 26
SAN DIEGO at Washington (+3)
Speaking of teams fighting for a playoff spot...
S-U: San Diego
Spread: San Diego
Final: SD 23 WAS 17 OT. Phew. Close one.
San Francisco at TENNESSEE (-7)
So, the Niners lose a heartbreaker on a failed 2-point conversion to the playoff-bound Seahawks, and now they're getting a full touchdown from the lowly Titans? Is this like the Miami game last week where something obvious went completely over my head? I know the Titans played a good game last week too, but 7 points?
S-U: Titans
Spread: Niners
Final: SF 22 TEN 33
ST LOUIS at Houston (+3.5)
Call me crazy, but this might just be Houston's opportunity to win a game. At home against a messed-up Rams team. Of course, the Rams played against an amped-up Kurt Warner while Houston is featuring a bandaged-up David Carr.
Screw it, I'm going with the upset.
S-U: Texans
Spread: Texans
Final: STL 33 HOU 27 OT. What a way to lose that one.
JACKSONVILLE at Arizona (+3.5)
Nah, Zona won't win 2 weeks in a row.
S-U: Jax
Spread: Jax
Final: JAX 24 ARI 17
Miami at OAKLAND (-7)
Yawn.
S-U: Oakland
Spread: Oakland
Final: MIA 33 OAK 21. What?!?
Green Bay at PHILLY (-4.5)
So is this the week that the Eagles finally pull one out or is this the week that the Packers decide to play like a professional football team?
Well?
S-U: Eagles
Spread: Eagles
Final: GB 14 PHI 19. Phew, won that spread by a half point.
New York Giants at SEATTLE (-5)
Two solid teams. Two of the top 3 running backs in the entire league. This should be a great game.
S-U: Hawks
Spread: Giants
Final: NYG 21 SEA 24 JF 0 OT. That third team is Jay Feely, who was an incredible loser today.
New Orleans at NEW YORK JETS (-1)
My question to the NFL is "Why?" Why should games like this even be played? Why? There's absolutely no reason for it. None whatsoever. This is an outrage.
S-U: Jets
Spread: Jets
Final: NO 21 NYJ 19. If I had said, "Raise your hand if you watched this game" or "Raise your hand if you support the legalization of triple homicide" I would see exactly the same number of raised hands.
Monday Night Madness
Pittsburgh at INDY (-9)
If you're wondering why I always say 'Indy' and never spell out the full name of the city, it's because I'm far too lazy to type it. There. I said it. I confessed. Are you happy now?
Oh, and uh... Colts win. But not by a lot.
S-U: Colts
Spread: Steelers
Over/Under (47): Under
Final: PIT 7 IND 26
Final Tally:
This week- Straight-Up 12-4, Spread 9-6-1
Season- Straight-Up: 32-14, Spread: 26-19-1
posted by BJC @ 9:58 AM
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