Dude, Where's My Car?
Every now and then, Saturday mornings can rival Monday mornings as far as the levels of sheer terror. This is especially true after a night at the bar.
I woke up early today because my splitting headache wouldn't allow it any other way. I sat on the couch for a while, alternating between watching the History channel and napping to the History channel. I had only one thing to do today, which was go look at a new apartment-- my appointment was at 12:30.
At about 20 after noon, I threw on some pants, swished around some Listerine and became instantly ready for societal interaction once again. The prospective apartment was about a mile away, so I was only looking at a 2 or 3 minute commute, depending on how many stop signs I wanted to run.
But when I got outside into the street, I noticed something. Something strange.
My car was gone.
Think, Brad, think. You had a car yesterday. You had to, or else how would you have driven home from work? OK, retrace my steps here. I came home, wrote a few emails, then drove to the bar. After the bar--- oh, that's right, I didn't drive after the bar. Something about a law. Jail time. It's all coming back to me.
Ironically, the car was parked not a hundred yards from the prospective apartment complex (and if you're asking yourself now if I'm choosing an apartment solely on its proximity to bars, then I'll just say stop asking so many personal questions). So I walked.
I arrived at the office after a solid 15 minutes of briskly-paced stumbling, now at the point where the beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead smell suspiciously like malt liquor. After a brief walkthrough of a fairly standard and none-too-surprising model townhouse, I hoofed it over to my morning bar, Dunkin Donuts (yes, a bar and a DD within a stone's throw of this place-- location, location, location). A few shots of caffiene and a short drive in my newly discovered vehicle later and I'm back on the couch.
But wait, there's more.
Sitting there, settling in to the permanent groove I've left in the cushions, I'm reliving a conundrum that has plagued mankind since at least the mid-80's. A perplexing dilemma. A relentless quandary, if you will. I'm watching a movie on TV that I actually own on DVD.
Why do I do this?
I have the full, unedited, commercial-free version 6 feet from my head, yet I'll willingly sit through the entire film without thinking twice. Why? Why? I don't understand myself. Why do so many people do this? I know it's not just me. Will I get to sleep tonight? Why?
Anyway, it's now 2PM and my day is pretty much over. The movie thing is the biggest worry I have right now.
Now that I think about it, maybe Saturdays aren't so bad after all.
posted by BJC @ 2:00 PM
Your thoughts (9 so far)
9 Comments:
Alison,
I would like nothing more than to formulate a witty and intelligent comment in response to your remark.
Right after my nap.
Hilarious! Surfed on in through Blogexplosion. Can I link you on my blog to read more at a later time? I'm betting a few of my readers will like coming here.
Very funny stuff Brad - you remind me of my brother in law.... especially when you said your sweat was smelling like malt liquor. Crack me up!
I would have to say yes, yes you can link here. I'll allow it.
I do the same with the movie on tv/dvd thing. And the sweat smelling like beer too.
I will not watch a movie on tv if I own it...however, I do find myself flipping back to it during commercials. Does that still count as watching it? I go with "no."
D
I can't even BEGIN to count the times that I've watched a movie on tv with the DVD just three steps away. It's a habit I'm trying desperately to break... oh, the insanity of it all!
P.S. I come here by way of Sheri at Days of Deerledge. She knows her readers well. I'd love to Blogroll you as well (Is it just me, or does that sound kinda kinky?) LOL
Just think if you hadn't had to wonder where the heck your car was you would have never gotten off the couch....
Well Lauren, you can do what you want, just don't blame me if other people get jealous.
Derek, you said two different things back there so I'm not sure which statement I believe.
and Michelle, rest assured that by Monday morning I would have been off the couch.
I think.
I meant that I won't watch it outright. BUT sometimes I do have a nasty habit to flipping back to it during commercials. But only for a minute. I don't really count that as watching it, do you?
Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah.
Woah.
Slow down, sister. Women channel surf less than men? You've got to be kidding me.
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