The Strip Club - Part III
Note: This is part iii in an ongoing series on my strip club adventures
The Bachelor Party
Two bachelor party stories. One happened last week at the club, and the other was a story related to me over a few beers.
But first off all, you should really check out the comment post on part II, left by Scott from HSR. It's a must-read.
There were about 6 or 7 Indian guys having their bachelor party last Wednesday, taking place just as we got in the door. The first thing the girls did was bring the groom-to-be up on stage and strip him. Now, if you'll recall from part I, in New York the girls have to be covered when making contact with the, um, patrons. That means the girl wore lingerie while the guy was stripped to an embarrassingly small pair of underwear. (Note to guys: If you know you're having your bachelor party on a given night, just plan on being stripped at some point-- that means don't wear anything you shouldn't be seen in. This is important)
The dancer then proceeded to spank the guy with his own belt until she felt bad and gave up. The poor guy was embarrassed enough being on stage in what was essentially a pair of panties, but now he's being defiled against all of his religious codes, and it just wasn't a fun sight to see. Well, it kind of was in a cruel, cruel way. Of course, his buddies were there cheering the whole thing on anyway, so I guess you couldn't feel too bad.
The other story involves some friends of mine and took place during a party for a guy whom nobody really likes. You know that friend that, for whatever reason, you hang out with despite his tendency to be a real whiny bitch? Well, it was that guy's party.
The girls brought him up on stage and blindfolded him, and did the usual stripper bachelor party sort of things. After a while, they said something like, 'Now we're going to put a nipple in your mouth,' and, as strippers often do, they tricked him. The "nipple" was actually a large synthetic replication of a male genitalia-- with whipped cream on it. Of course, thinking it was what they told him it was, he, well, you can fill this part in.
After the party, it was one of those things he wouldn't shut up about (because none of the other guys actually told him what he had done, it was funnier as an inside joke). Even though it caused much giggling at his expense, he was being a real pain about it-- until one day one of the friends had had a little too much:
"Dude, you know that nipple at the party? Well it was a big rubber dick. So shut up."
He shut up.
The Wet T-Shirt Contest
This didn't actually happen at the strip club last week-- it happened when we were out drinking on Saturday, but I'm going to include it here anyway.
And if you're asking yourself just how I manage to find myself in these sorts of situations so frequently, know that I hang out with mostly single guys under 30. And I drink. A lot.
The contest had been billed as a bikini contest, but then when we got there (and immediately ordered 6 pitchers of beer for the 4 of us) we realized the ad said bikini/wet t-shirt contest. Jackpot.
There were only four contestants. Three of them looked as if they had done these types of things many times before (one of them was a substitute teacher at a local school around here, no doubt encouraging scores of children to dust off their parents' vinyl copy of Van Halen's 1984). The fourth contestant was a moderately attractive but shy girl who had shown up with far, far too many young male friends, who ended up convincing her to enter.
Low self-esteem is a beautiful thing
The three pros, while clearly having the advantage in appearance, did not have the advantage of a rowdy cheering section, so the hometown girl won by a landslide. In retrospect, I think this was the best way to do it. We, as spectators, got as much as you can get out of a wet t-shirt contest (despite 2 failed chants of "skin to win"), and in the end a local girl walked home with a nice monetary prize and a very proud (if now unworthy) boyfriend.
Just like Cinderella, except with more boobs.
posted by BJC @ 1:35 PM
Your thoughts (0 so far)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home