Regarding Star Wars
Today I admit to you two things-- first, I have succumbed to the ubiquitous hype of the new Star Wars movie. Second, I still have not seen it. You may be asking how the first sentence doesn't automatically preclude the second, but all I'm saying is I plan to see this new film. This is somewhat big news because I did not, under any premise, plan on seeing the second after being so sorely disappointed by The Phantom Menace (Attack of the Clones, in my mind, could stand to be one of the most poorly acted movies I've ever seen. It's completely beyond comprehension).
So with all the news and interviews and cover stories and merchandise, it's difficult not to wonder if this actually will be the "last" Star Wars movie Lucas will ever make. He's said many times that it will be, but the temptation to make episodes 7 through 9 has got to be eating him up inside.
It makes sense too, when you think about it. Everybody who survived at the end of Jedi is still alive, aged about 20 years (remember, there was 19 years between Sith and A New Hope, so this works). We know that there are now two Jedi left to repopulate the herd. The emperor is gone, Darth kicked the bucket, and the Death Star was blown up. Twice.
Of course, the question that's always been on my mind-- and I've given this lots of thought, as sad as this is going to seem-- is what the ghost Jedi do when they're not giving advice. I mean, you see Obi Wan and Yoda float around for a few movies with the occasional voice-over, but that's all you see. Where are they the rest of the time? Is there a Jedi heaven where Mace Windu sits around recounting the time he played a hostage negotiator falsely accused of embezzlement? Do they show up randomly in the Rebel girls' locker room? Do they play chess?
Maybe they make prank phone calls. Maybe they move to a Tatooine post-life retirement community and play golf. Maybe they just sit around drinking Endor Blue Ribbon and setting things on fire with their light sabers. Mr. Lucas, these are things I need to know.
~~~~~~~~~
Lastly, and while I'm on the topic of Jedi ghosts, I have to vent my disgust for the revised ending of the DVD Return of the Jedi special edition. If you haven't already written to Lucas on your Boba Fett letterhead to complain, I'll fill you in: They replaced Bernard Shaw (Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker) with Hayden Christensen in the final ghost scene with Yoda and Obi Wan.
Hey kid, are you lost or something?
When I saw this for the first time I nearly went into cardiac arrest. It has to be one of the biggest movie travesties in the history of cinema. If George Lucas was so intent on ruining his films, why didn't he just change the end of Indiana Jones to have the boulder return and exact its revenge by turning Indy into a cartoon-style pancake?
Let's go a step further. It's like Goose showing up at the end of Top Gun. It's like changing the end of Gone With the Wind to have the fire department show up in time. It's like having Casablanca end with Bogart and Bergman joining the mile-high club.
~~~~~~~~~
When I do finally see the new SW film, rest assured I'll probably write about it. This is what geeks like me do. But in the meantime, I'll just continue my angry letters go George Lucas, using my R2D2 stationary and my Darth Vader bobblehead ball-point pen.
posted by BJC @ 9:55 AM
Your thoughts (1 so far)
1 Comments:
Oops. Must've been thinking of the cartoon series. I'll fix that.
And I'd advise doing yourself a favor and skipping over Clones altogether. There's no Jar Jar, but the acting is so wooden you'd think you were watching kindergartners perform Snow White.
Post a Comment
<< Home