Back to the Furniture
A little back pain never hurt anybody. At least, that's what would have been the prevailing theory until this morning.
It all started Monday afternoon as I was giving “the hog” a tune-up (hog = my 11 year old bicycle). I had been leaning over the rear wheel for the better part of an hour, when I realized I could no longer stand up straight. Great, I thought, just great. This sort of thing has been happening all too frequently over the past couple months. If I spend too much time in a hunched over position, the lower portion of my spinal column stiffens to a near-titanium like state. Up until the other night, it was just an inconvenience.
Not anymore.
I decided to try to sleep it off (after I took a 15-mile bike ride), since that usually does the trick. I definitely didn't expect to wake up in the morning feeling like a quadriplegic. Very slowly I made my way to the bathroom for a fistful of Tylenol. Didn't help. I tried icing it. Didn't help. I tried cursing at it. Still didn't help. I laid back down on the bed, picked up the phone and informed my boss that there was no way I was making it out of my house that day without a stretcher. She didn't argue.
The doctor diagnosed it as a lower lumbar strain, but left open the option that I could have done some disc damage. Super. Thanks, doc. However she did prescribe some heavy painkillers and heavier muscle relaxers, in the process becoming my new best friend.
That afternoon, I had nothing to do but muscularly relax and watch TV, since any sort of movement other than my thumb on the remote was out of the question. And since I had zero priorities besides rest (doctor's orders, can't argue), I decided to take some additional medicine for my (ahem) glaucoma. Straight from the Ricky Williams School of Holistic Healing.
I popped in a classic film (review forthcoming) that I hadn't seen in a while, and generally just let the chemicals run their course. It was a fairly pleasant afternoon.
By the evening, I could walk around more easily, but it still didn't stop me from feeling 60 years above my age. All I had to do was grab a cane and wear knee-socks with my sandals and I would have fit right in at the retirement center.
In the morning I'll head back to the office, although it might not be the best idea given the arsenal of pills I'm taking. I might be pulling a Costanza by taking a nap under the desk. I might start drooling on the keyboard. Who knows, I might even get some work done. I'll keep you posted.
Stupid bike.
posted by BJC @ 10:53 PM
Your thoughts (3 so far)
3 Comments:
Yes siree, that bike riding sure does make for a healthier lifestyle!
Think I'll just take a jog off the edge of a cliff to help me live longer.
You're not related to Jim Fixx, are you?
Here's my advice for a longer life...take the car, screw the environment, avoid all unnecesary exercise, and stock up on Cheetohs, nature's TRUE health food.
*Morris Workman
www.mesquedia.com
workmanchronicles.blogspot.com
awwww Sorry your body isn't up to par Brad...maybe you need to take Morris up on his suggestions...teehehehehe
But hey I am living through the pain of going to the gym everyday, everything hurts but my back so that could be the reason
At least your girlfriend isn't more than a decade younger than you and laughs every time your joints creak or crack. She also gets a giggle when I groan while doing something simple like getting out of the car. Then I reminder her just what a young soul I am...
...after all, I'm dating her.
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