Smut Taxonomy
Went over to a buddy's house after work yesterday for a long evening of "porch-sitting," whereby we sit on his porch with lawn chairs, pop a few beers and let the good times roll. Generally speaking, this consists of making fun of joggers, making car horn noises at girls that drive by (very immature but somehow very fun), and just kicking back and shooting the shit.
Two of my friends live in this house with another one of their friends from college. Three twentysomething guys with basically entry-level jobs. Suffice to say, you could make in the triple figures by collecting the cans and bottles around their pad.
But before we hit the porch, they were finishing up dinner in the living room, arbitrarily cruising through the channels on the TV. When nothing worthwhile was found, they turned to the recorded shows (our cable company offers a TiVo-style DVR) and noticed that their roommate had been recording about 20 hours worth of "programming" from the Spice channel. So the three of us, having nothing better to do at the moment, flipped on the porn.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar, the Spice channel is roughly equivalent to the Playboy channel, excepting that they occasionally show penetration. It's odd though-- it's not the hard-core stuff you can find on the internet (no money shots, for one), but it's well above the soft-core that rules Cinemax after 10PM. It's a confusing sort of hybrid. Some cameras are intentionally angled to hide the, um, action, but others are positioned to get up close and personal with it.
"I wonder what you call this stuff," I wondered out loud.
"I don't know," my buddy replied. He paused, thought for a minute, and finally said, "I think you call it double-X."
It was one of the most profound statements I've heard from him in the 20+ years we've been acquainted, causing belly-laughs well into the next half-hour.
And thus was born a new phrase into the American lexicon. Please feel free to spread this one.
posted by BJC @ 9:35 AM
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Disclaimer: The Steam Vent is not intended for readers under 18. It is not intended for readers over 17. In fact, the Steam Vent is not suitable content for anybody. Ever.
Seriously though, aren't you guys supposed to be more liberal up there in Canada?
Phew. Thought I'd made you blush one time too many.
And, speaking from experience, you can always write a post about XXX. Even Double-X, if you're so inclined, although it'll cost you a few bucks in pay-per-view fees.
Damn Brad you almost had me stimulated....sighs
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