Disjointed thoughts- a weekend away from home
Here are some random thoughts for the weekend as I'm in foreign territory for a few days-- Suffolk County, NY (on Long Island, otherwise known as "The SC")-- which, by the way, is hosting I-CON at the SUNY Stony Brook campus. I was about to ask my girlfriend (we were at SB for other business, I swear) what I-CON was until I saw 3 people standing there talking-- one was dressed like a robot, one like a medieval warrior and the other like a guy from Star Trek. I was about to quote Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds and crush a beer can while sneering, "Nerrrrrrrrrds," but then my girlfriend pointed out my Back to the Future shirt.
I also snickered at a few guys wearing wife-beaters and gold chains who spoke with heavy accents and walked funny, until it was noted that they were locals who weren't actually in costume. Wow.
So now on with the rest of the post...
If a tornado hit the Earth and the only person killed was Jon Leguizamo, would it even make it onto CNN.com? Even in their 'Off Beat' section?
Do you think people will ever get tired of hearing James Earl Jones' voice?
Wouldn't it be easier to train the Iraqi police force by showing them reruns of Cops: in Dallas?
When are we going to get to see Janet Jackson's other boob?
If Oprah revealed to the world that she was actually God's daughter, 580 million housewives would simultaneously turn to their husbands and say, "See, I told you."
I'm waiting for the day that Oprah brings in a studio audience of people waiting on a kidney transplant list, and then tells them all she's donating 732 of her own kidneys so these people can live. Everybody will think she's the sequel to Mother Theresa, and the fact that all of the kidneys came from Pontiac would make back-page news.
If McDonalds is forced to put warning labels on coffee-cup lids, shouldn't Taco Bell put them on burrito wrappers? "WARNING: UNFIT FOR HUMAN CONTACT FOR AT LEAST 3 HOURS"
You ever notice how unrealistic shaving commercials are? All of them. You see a completely hairless guy in an enormous bathroom from the year 2053-- all polished steel with weird lights and mirrors. Do those people actually exist? If they really wanted to reach their target audience, they'd show a fat, bed-headed 50 year-old guy with a beergut, toothpaste on his cheek and a bathrobed wife screaming at him from the bedroom to get rid of that 5 o'clock shadow, quit coming home drunk and do the fucking dishes once in a while.
And they should come up with better ad slogans. "The best a man can get" is garbage.
"Gilette - Because no intern's gonna blow you with that stubble."
posted by BJC @ 2:16 PM
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